Top 10 Reasons to Upgrade your PC

Your graphics accelerator card is connected to the treadmill in your hamsters cage.
The smoke and fumes from your CPU are beginning to affect your health.
The only sound you get from your sound card is "cough, cough.. .wheeze"
The magnifying glass in front of your tiny monitor is starting to melt the plastic casing.
You attempt to connect to a site with graphics and your modem displays a pop-up window saying "You're kidding, right?"
The start button on your Window 95 taskbar says "Attempt to Start"
You find yourself drilling holes in your floor or desktop to hold your computer in place while it's running.
Your idea of multimedia is turning on the stereo in the next room.
Your email comes back with postage due.
You have to "crankstart" it like an old model "T".