High Tech Computer Sales Jargon


NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturers cost cut to the bone.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesnt understand it.

ITS HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works.

REVOLUTIONARY - Its different from our competitiors.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others.

MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix.

RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope....

HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on.

PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!.

BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise.

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.

NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work.

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction.

CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports.

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way.

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturers, upon cashing your check.

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we cant explain.

LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.

Submitted by: anon
Category: Computers and Technology
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