Dear IT Support Help Desk

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 2.0 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, PartyGirl 2.1, which I tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 2.1 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancé 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all of my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus, CleanHouse 2000 and WashUp XP.

Shortly after this upgrade however, I discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run; For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-Mail Pornfilter and can, without warning launch PhotoStrop and WhingeZip!

These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself. Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser for new attachments, and also HairStyleExpress which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drain my resources. It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my BMW 7 series programme it often crashes or runs the system dry. I installed new driver software, Backseat 3.1, but this interrupts any programme I am running with frequent irritating and unnecessary instructions. It came with a new version of Mapreader 2003, which is worse than useless, and appears to be upside down.

Furthermore, Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which cannot be turned off. Recently I have attempted to install Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, as a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000,it tends to delete all MS Money files before permanently un-installing itself.

Submitted by: anon
Category: Essays and Articles
Current Rating: no rating (no votes yet)
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious