Speeding

A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"Yes, madam, you were speeding."
"Really?"
"May I see your licence please?"
"I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"Don't have one?"
"Nope. Lost it after drunk driving four times."
" I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"Nope. Can't do that either."
"Why not?"
"Well ... I stole this car."
"Stole it?"
"Yes, after I killed and dismembered the owner."
"You what?"
"Lost my temper. It was messy. His body is in a pile of plastic bags in the
boot if you want to see."
The policeman looks at the woman for a second, then backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes there are more police cars circling them. A
police sergeant approaches the car, gripping his half drawn gun. He clears his throat, then calls to her, "Madam, please step out of and away from your
vehicle please."
She does so. "Is there a problem sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the
owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
"Yes. Could you open the boot of your car please?"
She does, and they both look down into a dusty, empty space.
"Is this your car, madam?"
"Yes. Here are the registration papers."
The Sergeant scans through them, and sees that they are in order. "My officer claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The woman rummages through her bag, then hands her licence to the puzzled
Sergeant.
"Ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered the owner."

"I'll bet the lying b*st**d told you I was speeding, too!!"

Submitted by: anon
Category: Essays and Articles
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Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious