Life's embarrassing moments

Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or that you could crawl into a hole?


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around, walked out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39

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An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. I wanted to follow as best I could, so I asked my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest. Kathy Newman, 46

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I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few snaps. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggested I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and discovered that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!

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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me, without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31

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My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34

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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson

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Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with toilet training and I was onto him constantly. One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While eating my burger, I smelled something funny, so I checked my seven-month-old daughter but she was clean. I then realized that Danny had not been to the toilet in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me..." Then I asked, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled."SEE MUM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their burgers laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by telling me that they thought it was them.

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This had a lot of viewers laughing for 2 days. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any??? A female news anchor, who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Submitted by: goat
Category: Essays and Articles
Current Rating: no rating (no votes yet)
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious
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