Golytely

In case you don't already know, Golytely is used the night before your colonoscopy.

Note: An Open Letter to the Makers of Golytely

Dear Sirs:

I recently underwent a colonoscopy screening procedure. Your product was prescribed for me to use the night before the procedure and I wanted to tell you a few things about that evening's experience.

First of all I want to congratulate you on manufacturing an EXTREMELY effective product. It certainly performed its function though I wasn't as appreciative at the time.

I want to thank you for making me appreciate that I own stock in the Northern Paper Company. Thank you, too, for helping me accomplish my monthly weight loss goal in only one night. I also wish to thank you for curing my dog of drinking out of places other than her water bowl. And I now understand, partially at least, why my children's request for a television in the rest room might not have been such a bad idea, having sat and, a la Rodin's Thinker, thought about the benefits of same.

Having had that long time to sit and think, I would like to suggest that you contact the Defense Department of the United States about the strategic use of your product in combating terrorism. Bin Laden and others of his ilk would be less apt to flit from one hiding place to another if your product were introduced into their water supply. I know that I certainly didn't move very far that night from my base of operations.

A satisfied customer...

Submitted by: anon
Category: Essays and Articles
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