Civil Liberties

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your order?"

Customer: "Hello, can I order?"

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer:"It's eh...,hold on....6102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr. Sheehan and you're calling from 17 Meadow Drive. Your home number is 494 2366, your office 745 2302 and your mobile is 014 266 2566. Would you like to have the delivery made to 17 Meadow Drive?

Customer: "Yes, how did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. You'll like it."

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Soybean Yogurt Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99.

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank $3720.55 since October last year"

Operator : "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't do that Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What the..?"

Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Harley,...registration number E1123..."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language to a policeman...

Customer:( Speechless) Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of Pepsi as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... " !!!!

Customer: Why don't you people kiss my butt.

Operator: Our records indicate you have not showered in three days Sir; we cannot take that chance.

Submitted by: calorman
Category: Essays and Articles
Current Rating: 4.5000
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious