Letter from Human Resources

Dear Employees

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

TRY SAYING She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF
She's a ball-busting b__ch.

TRY SAYING Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No f______ way.

TRY SAYING Really?
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be sh__ing me!

TRY SAYING Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

TRY SAYING I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It's not my f______ problem.

TRY SAYING That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the f___?

TRY SAYING I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF
This sh__ won't work.

TRY SAYING I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the h_! __ didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF
He's got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat sh__ and die.

TRY SAYING So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my a__.

TRY SAYING I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF
F___ it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF Shove it up your a__.

TRY SAYING I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.

TRY SAYING You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF
He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Submitted by: anon
Category: Essays and Articles
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