Classifications of postings to various popular groups

Since postings on the net tend to be repetititititive, why not number the various types? This would save us all a lot of time reading the news, and would vastly decrease the time and cost of transmitting all the junk on the net.

To get started, here are my suggestions for some of the groups I read. Please feel free to add others.

Note: Since some postings DO include a tiny amount of variable information, I have allowed for this by the use of << >> and uppercase letters. When you see such a variable, insert the appropriate information. (It really doesn't matter what.)

By the way, 8-) 8-) 8-) .

ANY NEWS GROUP

01 - Hi! I'm new to the net, and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on what computer to buy/what text editor to use/what $15 modem to buy/why PROCOMM doesn't work.

02 - Hi! I've been reading the net for a while now, and thought I would try posting something. I think the net is really great. Keep it up! .

  :wq 
  ^D 
  QUIT 
  ^ 

03 - I don't know anything about the content of your posting, but I don't think it is appropriate for this group. Why don't you take this discussion to rec.<<TOPIC>>.<<SILLY QUALIFIER>> ?

04 - I don't know the answer to the question you posted, but I think someone asked this question 18 years ago on the net. Don't remember if it got answered. Hope this helps!

05 - I'm not sure of the answer to the question you posted, but I seem to recall that I once thought I remembered reading in a book that may have had an author and title, but I'm not sure, that there may be some reasons for what you describe. I have the book at home, but, since I don't want to delay this response by waiting till tomorrow, I am not bothering to look it up when I get home tonight. Hope this helps!

06 - You made an error in spelling/diction/grammar in your recent posting, therefore you obviously don't know what you're talking about, and, since I don't know what I am talking about, I'm not even going to discuss the content of your posting.

07 - You have a non-American name, therefore you obviously don't know what you're talking about, and since I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm not even going to discuss the content of your posting.

08 - <<REFERENCE TO POSTING REGARDING HOUSE FOR SALE IN NEW JERSEY, REQUEST FOR RIDE TO WORK FROM WALTHAM TO CAMBRIDGE, CAR FOR SALE IN MOUNTAIN VIEW, OR OTHER REGIONAL TOPIC>> Why are you posting this with intergalactic distribution? Why am I posting this silly response with the same distribution?

09 - I used to enjoy reading the informative articles in this news group, but lately the articles have been rather irrelvant and abusive. If people don't stop misusing this group, I may have to unsubscribe. (This is stated seriously, as though someone would care.)

10 - EXPANSION

REC.HUMOR

11 - Original string joke.

12 - Posting bemoaning string joke.

13 - Posting with slight variation of punchline of string joke.

14 - Posting bemoaning slight variation of punchline of string joke.

15 - Cannonical list of <<ACRONYM FOR TYPE OF JOKE>> jokes.

16 - <<X-TH>> posting of "Life of an Electron"

17 - <<X-TH>> posting of joke already posted <<(X-1)-TH>> times in rec.humor

18 - <<POSTING OF ANY JOKE WHICH ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN EITHER CHILDREN'S DIGEST OR HUMPTY DUMPTY>>

19 - <<RUNNING PUNS. (These can be distinguished by the presence of greater-than signs equal to Avogadro's number.)

20 - Since your posting contains no humorous content, shouldn't it be in rec.humor.d? This, however, will not prevent me from posting this contribution to the discussion to rec.humor, instead of rec.humor.d.

COMP.SYS.AMIGA

21 - Commodore could sell at least 18 more Amigas if they would advertise.

22 - Commodore could sell at least 18 more Amigas if they would advertise. <<LONG POSTING DESCRIBING POSTER'S THEORY OF COMPUTER SALES/MARKETING.>>

23 - LIVE! is done. To order call 800-555-1212.

24 - Whoops! LIVE! is not quite done. I spoke to A-Squared by phone, and they said it's very nearly done, but that they decided to spend a bit more time and put some even neater stuff in it. Watch for announcements when it is ready, which will be soon.

25 - Is it possible for my Amiga to read disks from my <<ANY HOME COMPUTER COSTING LESS THAN $47>> ? I would be willing to pay $1300 for the software/hardware to do this.

27 - Sidecar does exist! I saw one demonstrated at the annual North Woods Fur-Trappers' Convention in Winnipeg.

28 - Is it possible for my Amiga to emulate my <<ANY HOME COMPUTER COSTING LESS THAN $47>> ? I would be willing to pay $1300 for the software/hardware to do this.

29 - EXPANSION 30 - EXPANSION

SOC.SINGLES

31 - <<ANY POSTING HAVING NO POTENTIAL AT ALL FOR ANYONE'S INTELLECTUAL, SOCIAL, OR PHYSICAL EDIFICATION (in other words, any posting in soc.singles).>>

MISC.MISC

41 - <<ANY POSTING NOT RELEVANT TO ANY OTHER NEWS GROUP>>

TALK.BIZARRE

51 - <<ANY POSTING NOT RELEVANT TO misc.misc>>

Submitted by: goat
Category: Essays and Articles
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