You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...

  • Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.

  • You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.

  • You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

  • At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

  • There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

  • You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

  • You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

  • You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

  • You think that the Stormtroopers Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.

  • A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

  • You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not the force.

  • Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"

  • You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

  • You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

  • The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

  • Wookies are offended by your B.O.

  • You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

  • You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

  • You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

  • Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

  • You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
Submitted by: Don the Joker
Category: Essays and Articles
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