What NOT to say to a naked man

  • I've smoked fatter joints than th4at.
  • Ahh, it's cute.
  • Who circumcised you?
  • Why don't we just cuddle?
  • You know they have surgery to fix that.
  • It's more fun to look at.
  • Make it dance.
  • You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
  • Can I paint a smiley face on that?
  • It looks like a night crawler.
  • Wow, and your feet are so big.
  • My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
  • It's ok, we'll work around it.
  • Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
  • Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
  • Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
  • Oh no, a flash headache.
  • (giggle and point)
  • Can I be honest with you?
  • My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
  • Let me go get my tweezers.
  • How sweet, you brought incense.
  • This explains your car.
  • You must be a growing boy.
  • Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
  • Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
  • Are you one of those pygmies?
  • Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
  • Every heard of clearasil?
  • All right, a treasure hunt!
  • I didn't know they came that small.
  • Why is God punishing you?
  • At least this won't take long.
  • I never saw one like that before.
  • What do you call this?
  • But it still works, right?
  • Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
  • It looks so unused.
  • Do you take steroids?
  • I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
  • Maybe it looks better in natural light.
  • Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
  • Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
  • Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
  • Aww, it's hiding.
  • Are you cold?
  • If you get me real drunk first.
  • Is that an optical illusion?
  • What is that?
  • I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
  • Were you neutered?
  • It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
  • Does it come with an air pump?
  • So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
  • here are the puppet strings?
  • Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
  • Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
  • Never mind, why bother.
  • Is that a second belly button?
  • Where's the rest of it?
Submitted by: anon
Category: Lists
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