Being a bloke is great 'cos:

  • Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
  • Your orgasms are real. Always.
  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
  • Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
  • tarnished.
  • You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
  • People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
  • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  • Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
  • Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
  • different?"
  • You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
  • One mood, ALL the damn time.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
  • You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
  • You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
  • You can kill your own food.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
  • friend.
  • If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
  • Everything on your face stays its original colour.
  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader is coming.
  • You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours
  • without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
  • You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
  • become lifelong friends.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • You don't have to shave below your neck.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
  • You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th,
  • in 45 minutes.
  • The world is your urinal
Submitted by: anon
Category: Lists
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