What pisses dogs off

  • When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
  • Blaming your farts on me... not funny.
  • Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
  • How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat?)
  • Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. (Exactly whose walk is this anyway?)
  • Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....stop it. I mean..........c'mon already!.
  • Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
  • Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
  • How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
  • Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?
  • Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
  • When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
  • Taking me to the vet for ?the big snip?, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.
  • The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. Wow, you fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  • Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
Submitted by: calorman
Category: Lists
Current Rating: 5.0000
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious