Miranda for Men

1) I have the right to remain silent in the face of any and all questions woman ask me, no matter how innocuous those questions may appear to be on the surface.

2) I acknowledge that anything I say in response to a woman's questions can and will be used against me in the court of female public opinion.

3) I have the right to make one phone call to an attorney or any other legal counselor I might choose, who will advise me as to which questions can be safely answered and which ones must be avoided if I am to survive this encounter with my reputation intact.

4) I recognize that, as a member of the male sex, I can in no way - at any time, in any place or in any mental condition - keep up with the mixed signals, chat, rate, tangled motivations, complex strategies or deceptive word choices of the female of the species.

5) Finally, I accept the fact that if I am so foolish as to answer questions after reading this Miranda warning and listening to my legal advisor, the odds are I will say something I will regret. In other words, from this moment on, I proceed in this venture at my own hazard and risk.

Submitted by: lucy
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