100 Reasons It's Better to be a Guy

  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
  3. You know stuff about tanks.
  4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  5. Monday Night Football.
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  7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
  8. You can open all your own jars.
  9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
  10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
  11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall of every shot of someone crying.
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  14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
  15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
  16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
  17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
  18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
  19. Your last name stays put.
  20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
  21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
  22. You can kill your own food.
  23. The garage is all yours.
  24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
  26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
  27. You never have to clean the toilet.
  28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
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  30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
  32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
  33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
  34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
  35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
  36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy person every nite.
  37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
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  40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
  41. Chocolate is just another snack.
  42. You can be President.
  43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
  44. Flowers fix everything.
  45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
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  47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
  48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
  49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
  50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
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  52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
  53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
  54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
  55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
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  57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
  59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me."
  60. The world is your urinal.
  61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
  62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
  63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
  64. One mood, all the time.
  65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
  66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
  67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
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  69. Same work....more pay.
  70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
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  72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
  73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
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  75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
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  77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
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  79. ESPN's sports center.
  80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
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  82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
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  84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
  85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
  86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
  87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "?*#@ it!"
  88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
  89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
  90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
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  92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
  93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
  94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
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  96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
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  98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
  99. "Baywatch."
  100. There is always a game on somewhere.
Submitted by: anon
Category: Lists
Current Rating: 4.0000
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