Public Signs

These signs have allegedly been spotted in public use.

  • Sign in a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.
  • In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
  • In an office: After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
  • English sign in a German cafe: Mothers, please wash your hands before eating.
  • Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything-bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
  • Sign outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened.
  • Outside a photographer's studio: Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
  • Seen at the side of a Sussex road: Slow cattle crossing, no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
  • Outside a disco: Smart is the most exclusive disco in town, everyone welcome.
  • Sign warning of quicksand: Quicksand, any person passing this point will be drowned, by order of the district council.
  • Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: Due to increasing problems with the letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
  • Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
  • Sign on motorway garage: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
  • Spotted in a safari park: Elephants, please stay in your car.
  • Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
  • Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
  • Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
  • Sign on a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)
  • Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out of order please use floor below.
Submitted by: anon
Category: Lists
Current Rating: 4.0000
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious