Man U Fans

Q: How many Manchester Utd. fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb, one to buy the "1999 light bulb changing" commemorative T-shirt and video, and one to drive the other two back to Torquay.

Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Man United players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: If you see a Manchester United Fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a Manchester United Fan from Manchester, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a 10 note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice.

Q: What is the difference between a Manchester United Fan and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Submitted by: BodGer
Category: One-liners
Current Rating: 4.7500
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious