Party leaders in heaven

Tony Blair, Michael Howard and Charles Kennedy unexpectedly die during the election campaign and go to heaven, where St Peter meets and greets them.

"Welcome to heaven", says St Peter. "I hope you'll be happy here." All three of them shuffle their feet a bit and look rather disappointed.

"Er... actually, I'd quite like to go back, if it's at all possible", says Tony Blair, "I think my party needs me at this moment in time." The others nod in agreement and ask to be sent back as well.

St Peter thinks for a bit, and then goes off to fetch God and tell him the situation. After a while, during which the three party leaders chat for a bit and comment on the decoration of the clouds, St Peter returns with God.

"So", says God, "I hear you want to go back. Now, that is possible, but I need a very good reason before I arrange it. We'll start with you, Charles; what are your reasons?"

In response, the Lib Dem leader explains how important he is to his party's electoral prospects. "I know that we don't have any realistic chance of actually winning the election, but I think it's important for us to have the best possible opportunity to get as many seats as we can. And I'm a key part of that."

God thinks for a few moments, and then tells Charles Kennedy that he can go back. "You're right - it's important for democracy that you do as well as you can. I'll send you back straightaway." And, with that, there's a puff of smoke and only Tony and Michael remain in the room with God and St Peter.

Next to speak is Michael Howard. Making essentially the same argument as his Liberal counterpart, he concludes by telling God that "we only have an outside chance of winning, but without me we won't have any chance at all." This time, God agrees immediately, there's another puff of smoke and only Tony is left.

"I'm really important to my party..." begins Tony Blair as he attempts to persuade God to send him back, but he's stopped in mid-sentence as God holds up his hand and motions him to be silent.

"Enough words", says God. "I don't need to hear any more from you. I've made my decision."

"But you've got to send me back" pleads Tony, thinking of the lost opportunity of a third term in office. "You sent the others back, why not me?"

"Who said anything about keeping you here?" replies God. "I promised Charles and Michael that I'd give them the best possible chance to do well in the elections...."

"So you're sending me back to have the best chance of winning?" Tony interrupts.

"No," says God, patiently. "I promised Charles and Michael that I'd give them the best possible chance to do well in the elections. To achieve that, I've got to send you back as well!"

Submitted by: drcowman
Category: Politics
Current Rating: 3.5000
Not funny at all 0 1 2 3 4 5 Utterly hilarious