A Slight Problem with a Rescue

(This allegedly really happened in Canada. I heard it from a friend. After posting it in rec.backcountry I got some requests to post it here.)

Some guy on drugs jumped over a cliff but did not quite succeed in killing himself. The rescue team tied his unconscious body into a Stokes litter and proceeded to evacuate by means of a "fixed line flyaway." This means that the litter is suspended a couple of hundred feet below a helicopter which then flies to a level place where they can set him down (carefully) and either load him in the aircraft or otherwise take further care of him. The patient is accompanied by one attendant tied into the litter.

This patient began to regain consciousness during the flight. Remember he is flying across the sky and being marginally conscious (as well as probably still feeling the effects of whatever drug he took) probably doesn't notice either the helicopter or the cable attaching him to it. The attendant, who happens to have a nice bushy beard, notices that the patient is starting to "come around" and in an effort to keep him calm says in his most soothing voice:

Don't worry, I'll take care of you. My name is Peter.

The effect was somewhat less soothing than hoped for and the attendant decided that next time he would use a name other than Peter.

Submitted by: calorman
Category: Real News
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